Kauai impressions

They call it the Garden Isle for a reason. Wow. This place is lush. Now, to that point, anyone who knows the Osmons know that when the family gathers, we attain the Power of 3 and become Quasi Supernormal Incremental Precipitation Inducers. So maybe picking a place that ranks as The Wettest Place on Earth was asking too much.

We arrived Friday night late - hungry. Our guidebook recommended a hole in the wall for noodles they call Saimen. Man, it was rustic, local and quite tasty. Saturday was a tour of one of the state park beaches and a drive north to see the stretch of the island north of us. We visited a little hamburg stand, popped into a grocery store, and road the road till it ends. Beaches along the way are amazing. We were lucky to also be there for Lighthouse Day. When you see our pics, you’ll see some pictures of Great Frigate Birds, Nenes (Hawaii’s mutated Canadian Geese), Red Tailed Tropic Birds (really), Albatross, and some other stuff.  The lighthouse was pretty neat too.

The next day we drove south, to the end of that road and beaches in the south. Each one is more picturesque than the next. I guess that’s why we don’t really have any pictures of them. We took our first snorkeling dip on Sunday. Wow. We were barely 3 feet off shore when we found fish. Lots of fish. Fish of many colors, shapes and sizes. It was like swimming in a fishtank. Except for the Hawaii waves that beat the tar out of you while you’re attempting to keep your head under the water to watch the fish and your snorkel tube free of the very salty water.

Today we’re booked on a noon kayak tour up a little river. We’ll pass a fern grotto, and then visit what is marked in bold letters on our map as the Secret Falls. Shhhhh. Heh, I’m sure there will only be 200 or so people who stumble upon this secret at the same time as we do!

So … more stories and pictures as we can. Just a little taste to rub it in and let you know that we’re loving the sun, the sand and the tropical food & adventures. Oh. You’re working aren’t you. Yeah, sorry about that.

Hawai’i here we come

We just got a call from American Airlines that our flight has been delayed so much that we’d miss our connection .. so we’re leaving now at 5am instead of 7am to catch an even earlier flight. The fates are even with us on this one … knock on wood it’ll all work out.

We’re headed to Kauai’i … Conrad’s bringing his laptop so I hope to get a couple of blog posts & pics added while we’re there. But if all is quiet on the blog for a week or so, don’t hate us for having a fun time in the sand and sun!

Knock, knock

Heard on “Top Chef” … and Conrad loved it (note: you must say it out loud to get it)

Knock knock

> Who’s there?

Smell Mop

> Smell Mop Who?

!

hee hee

Did you get it? try it again, say it out loud (a southern accent works best), and think like a 3rd grader

May your troubles be less, your blessings be more

And nothing but happiness come through your door.

… I do love that Irish blessing. And I love the forward I got from my good friend Griffin. Enough to share … I hope to weave some of these into my life…

39 Life Tips (because I took out #40, “Send this to everyone you know” - blech.)

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.

3. Buy a DVR and tape your late night shows and get more sleep .

4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, ‘My purpose is to __________ today.’

5. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy .

6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2007.

7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, tai chi, and prayer . They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.

8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.

9. Dream more while you are awake.

10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

11. Drink green tea and plenty of water.. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.

12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.

14. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn . Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

16 . Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

17. Smile and laugh more . It will keep the energy vampires away.

18. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

20. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

21. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

22. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.

23. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ‘In five years, will this matter?’

26. Forgive everyone for everything.

27. What other people think of you is none of your business.

28. GOD heals almost everything.

29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

30. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

31. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

33 . The best is yet to come.

34. No matter how you feel , get up, dress up and show up.

35. Do the right thing!

36. Call your family often. (Or email them to death!!!) Hey I’m thinkn of ya! =)

37. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________.

38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don’t want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.

Spring in the 212!

April is great in New York City, and before it comes to an end, I need to recognize that. When we lived in North Carolina, we had the luxury of a temperate climate — seasons yes, but the worst one was summer. Compared to my upbringing in climate-grouchy Massachusetts, NC was a cake-walk. And while NC has what I call the “purple-tree season” where the roadsides and countrysides look more like a child’s coloring than reality, it tends to leap with all its energy into spring, both feet flying, without looking back, no regrets. Just WHAM, one day, it’s spring. Then out comes the pollen, people with hay fever swear like truck drivers. And then in about 3 days, it’s summer. And we call our friends in the north and invite them down for an April visit to enjoy the 80 degree days. Nah nah na nah nah.

NYC doesn’t roll that way. It makes you work for spring. It makes people think twice, nay, three times about winter. Your on the edge of your seat … remembering summer days, sitting outside on patios, strolling in parks. It’s almost here, almost. A warm morning will tempt you to leave your coat at home, and the afternoon will beat you back, reminding your overhasty self that it’s only April. A spring-fevered weatherman will tell you the afternoon may reach 70, and you boldly walk out of your overheated apartment in the morning to find a 40 degree morning awaits you as you haul brazenly to the subway, teeth-chattering, “I’m not cold.” Yes, NYC teases its inhabitants with spring, carries you along like a mouse timidly following a cheese trail, only to round the bend into a ginormous winter snow-storm trap.

This morning is one of these days. The sky is a pale blue. The cherry trees are in full bloom, the blossoms dusting the bare circles under their trees leaving delicate pink circular carpets in the parks. New Yorkers have abandoned their coats at home and are bracing the chilling 45 degree walk to work in hope of the promise for a 65 degree afternoon. I guarantee you lunch spots will put out tables and locals will pack the outdoor seats wrapped up in scarves, pulling lapels tight, pretending they’re actually warm and enjoying as much of the “fresh” air as possible. Spring in NYC — it’s filled with hope. It’s a promise of what’s to come. It’s a rebirth from the cold of winter into the warmth of what’s yet to come. It’s filled with foggy mornings where you can just barely make out the top of the skyscrapper you know is there, but you can’t yet see. It’s a fantastic metaphore for life .. inspiring and exciting. And so worthy of praise and recognition before it slips into summer (and we complain about the heat).

I hope to add some pictures of spring in NYC. It’s really breathtaking to see nature spring up in the midst of one of the world’s most advanced, cement cities.

Living like a local

Wow, what a great NYC weekend was had… fitting that it was also Conrad’s birthday! Have I mentioned he’s older than me? Much … much .. older

We started with a little Broadway, and ended with a little baseball. Mmmm … I can still smell the smells.

Though C’s not a huge musical fan, I am. So it was a perfect meet in the middle when the Osmon’s surprised him with tickets to see Spamalot. If you’re a fan of men in tights, Monty Python, spam, know the phrase, “I will fart in your general direction”, or like Clay Aiken, then you would like it too.  Before the show, Conrad opened his presents and said sheepishly, “How about instead of dinner we head to ‘Piece of Chicken’.” I was outraged. Piece of chicken sells fried chicken for $1 a piece out of sketchy window on a side street on the border of Hells Kitchen and the Theatre district. It is NOT where you go when you live in NYC and have a birthday — there are tons of great, famous restaurants with great, famous chefs to choose from. And it is exactly where I had planned to surprise Conrad with for dinner that night. Freaky.

On Saturday, we had a bagel schmorgasboard and then met up with friends Marty, Natasha, Kelly and Factor to watch the Mets from what were some of the farthest-away seats in the stadium (go all the way up the ramp and all the way to the last aisle … then all the way to the top). It was fantastic. $5 seats to drink $8 beers. And the Mets won!! After the game, 1.3 million Mets fans and us crushed to the subway … which was actuallly not crowded and was a lot of fun. We rode about 3 stops to where we heard Queens has a little India. They do. Conrad loves Indian food and when someone recommended a diner there for great Indian, we had to stop. Food was good and everyone left full and happy. The rest of the night was spent laughing with friends — thanks to K & F for a great round of Pictionary and a farewell to David Lam whom we met up with for a night cap and a dance.

Conrad spent Sunday playing with his new toy - our new wireless digital frame. Now you can e-mail us your favorite pics directly to our frame. If I like you, I’ll tell you the address, so go ahead and ask 

Ah weekends in the city can be so fun.

Pride goeth before the fall

Ok, ok … Mercy. I’ve good reason for being a slacker with posts … I’m dragging my heels on what I need to write out.

2 Preambles:

1. Moms: No pity comments please, we just need to say it out (Kelly tells me it’s cathartic)

2. Shelly, Hannah, Sarah … I blame mostly myself and Conrad, but second to us, I hold you three quite responsible. I expected more warning from friends.

Ok … (stomachs courage).

At the end of my Singapore stint, Conrad came to visit. It so happened to also be Chinese New Year. This meant flights to Cambodia and Vietnam - where I really wanted to go - were not available. So on advice and stories from friends (ahem, see #2 above), we decided to explore Thailand. 5 vacation days won’t get you too far, so we only went to the capital, Bangkok, and a beach resort, Krabi.

As soon as Conrad and I landed in the Bangkok airport, we agreed - this is the most foreign we’d ever felt. I think it’s the first time either of us were in a country where we knew nothing of the language or anyone else who did. And it’s not like we had landed in Germany or Portugal where the language is similar / discernible. No, Thailand has a very graphic alphabet that looks NOTHING like the Roman alphabet we know. It’s just a lot of pictures. Well, most of the signage was also in English, and we found our taxi driver understood enough English to get us to the hotel and the hotel was lovely. Once settled, we headed out to explore. We hadn’t even made it to the end of the block when we were approached by a local (we must have looked very touristy). She took over our map and rewrote our travel plans. Even called over a “tuk tuk” driver to take us to a couple of places (a tourist office to buy a tour of Bangkok’s famed floating market and then to a private tour boat) — we declined the tour boat and walked to the ferry, tour tickets for tomorrow firmly in hand and pleased with the very helpful woman.

Ferry is a glamorous term for what basically amounted to a water bus … but that’s a story for another day. We managed to get on and get off where we wanted… near one of the many buddahs in town. We got off the ferry to a super crowded warm filled with steaming bowls of curries and fruits and grilled meat and lots of trinkets, scarves, etc. We had arrived. Only, we were approached by many friendly locals who apologized, the prince’s sister had died that week, and all the temples were closed for locals to mourn… some entrances were open, but they told us the lines stretched around the block. “We can take you to another temple across the bridge…….” and on and on. We declined and took to strolling.

A short walk found a man with a card table, a sheet, and some pants … “Sir, you can’t go into the temples with shorts. How about a new pair of pants?” Conrad was frustrated with himself for forgetting, and before we knew it, he was changing behind a sheet and walking away with a new pair of pants. The Thai’s were so nice & helpful!

We wandered hesitatingly through the gates of a Buddhist temple and explored the grounds. A woman was selling bottled water and warned us briefly of the locals who will try to take advantage. We explored a bit more and were approached by a friendly, young man who engaged us in conversation. He was a music teacher at the university on the other side of the wall. His English was great. He looked at our map (remember, first highlighted by us, then highlighted by that woman on the street) and “corrected” our plans further. And he had a little secret for us, one of the custom tailors (we had passed many already) was having a sale. What?! Sale is Conrad’s favorite word!! Apparently, this is a Thai-only shop who is making special accommodation for tourists this week, what luck we’re here the very same week! Anyway, this very nice university man called us over a tuk-tuk and gave the guy the run down in Thai for us. He was to take us to all the temples he’d circled and then drop us off at the taxi stand at the end of the day … basically, we had just been given a full-day, local tour (by someone who can’t speak English) for $6. Bargain.

We zoomed all over the city. The man loved his town and his temples … he took us in places we wouldn’t have gone on our own, he took our photos, he smiled a lot. At our umpteenth buddah, he made a pit stop and left us with the tuk tuk. We were parked in front of a Mercedes and didn’t its owner come out while we were waiting. We chatted, turns out he lived in England and was visiting his ailing father. Where had we been? Where we were going? We spilled our guts. Wait, who told you about this clothing store? “It was just on the news last night,” he told us. Then he pulled out the members card from his wallet for the same store, he’d just been that day. They have a deal, buy 2 Armani suits get one free.

Well, you’re seeing through the story. We went. Surprisingly, the tuk tuk driver knew exactly where this particular place was (there are hundreds of them in Bangkok) and we met with a salesman there. The salesman spoke excellent English and was as convincing as a snake-oil salesman. Conrad and I were mixed - our guts were saying no, our outstanding bills waiting for us in NY were saying no, but the temptation of custom-made clothes was too strong to resist. We walked out with orders for 6 suits and 2 winter coats.

It was a scam. A big one. We did get our clothes, and to be fair, Conrad’s suits fit him better than anything else he owns (even better than the Nordstrom one we got him for our wedding).  But my suits are mens suits cut for a woman’s frame. The waist for my coat is somewhere around my hips, with 2 of the beltloops overlapping at the front… very odd.

<Sigh>

We are fortunate — we have great memories, our health, and saw great sites. But if you’re planning a trip to Thailand, be very aware of the Voglee scam. We heard our story, word for word, retold on another blog just a few weeks ago. Since then, I’ve been sick. The self-doubt this was a price-gauge was enough, knowing it’s an offical scam is a disappointing realization.

With time, I’ll be able to tell the story with a laugh I’m sure. Until then, Shelly and Sarah who lived in Thailand and Hannah who’s visited often, shame on you for not giving us ample warning! (All kidding aside, nothing but love for you ladies!)

Oh well, glad it’s out there! Now I can get on to the other posts about spring in NYC and living like a tourist / local!

It’s mating season at IBM

Not inside the walls, but out (what did you think I meant?!).

… I had to stop my car. The turkeys were everywhere last week. I heard a Bill Engvall tell a story about turkey hunting with his dad, he said, “The only wild turkey we saw that week came out of a bottle.” I smile every time I see these guys. There were 2 toms STRUTTING their stuff… one was so outraged I had the nerve to interrupt his mid-road display when I was driving out that he merely sauntered, indignantly to the side while I drove past, and then returned to his performance (note: the ladies didn’t seem to impressed … keep trying dude).

Turkeys have blue heads. Who knew!?!!

But lest you think our IBM campus is only filled with turkey, turn to your right … and literally, on the hill opposite, you will usually see this family:

I am still amazed that we don’t see venison on the cafeteria menu

On the campus, we also have:

• GAGGLES of Canadian geese (surely, these things are no longer endangered and hunting should be allowed again!)
• Turkey vultures (who do a very strange mating dance by holding their wings out and walking around in slow circles … there were 4 or 5 all standing in a row doing their slow dance the other day .. sadly, I was sans camera)
• Hawks … a less frequent sighting, but they’re out there
• Groundhogs … which are way, way bigger than I thought!
• And there’s rumor (though I’ve not seen myself) other exotics like foxes and even bobcats … of course, I think if there really were lots of bobcats, we’d have fewer geese … but maybe I’m missing something here.

It can make for a pretty interesting commute home … from the jungle of upstate NY, to the concrete jungle that’s become home.

She wasn’t the headliner

… but she could have been!

This place is actually just around the bend from our NYC office. And hey, who doesn’t like going to a comedy club at 6pm?

Apparently most people. We went to watch a friend of a friend take the mic (not Kelly) … but the 6:30 show was anything but … populated. It was our group and “Steve” … the only other guy beside us who made it to the early show.

Oh well, most of the comics were good … but it is a little strange when the lone laugh echos off the walls of a mostly-empty theater.

Tips for new parents

We are so fortunate that many of our friends and family have been blessed with new additions … came across this link and thought I should share the knowledge with those of you who are new to parenting …

The full list of helpful tips for new parents can be found on this spanish Web site